Welcome to Well-Being With Tanisha!
This month we’re talking lock-down 2.0, or 3.0 or 4.0...depending on where you are in the world - hang on in there!
One thing most of us have access to is social media and it has kept us connected to friends and family and the outside world. World issues like George Floyd’s murder and the Black Lives Matter movement were amplified because we are glued to our phones; many people were exposed to issues they had never thought about before. Seeing solidarity like that filled me with a sense of hope; it was short-lived but nice while it lasted.
Alongside the mixture of genuine and disingenuous posts being shared, there was a huge rise in people using their platforms to elevate themselves as experts in anti-racism, mental health and wellness. I have seen countless “how to’s” during this period telling us how to cope and manage during this time. As a result, loads of people are using social media to place themselves on a pedestal and dole out advice to those of us looking for it.
We are in a time of huge uncertainty and none of us have ever lived through something like this so I think it is fair to say that no one has the “right” answer. Don’t get me wrong - there is lots of good advice out there and at a time when lots of us are feeling alone with our thoughts and feelings, it is good to know what other people are doing and how they are managing. However, some people are growing a following under false claims of being experts in various fields - and they’re not. The underlying message we receive in these spaces is that we don’t have the answers and need to look outside of ourselves for them. This teaches us that people that we do not know are the ones who know our needs more so than we do.
"We are the experts of ourselves but are often dissuaded from listening to the small voice inside of us."
Managing our mental health is all about empowerment, it’s about knowing ourselves intimately, recognizing our own needs and finding ways to act on those needs. The pandemic has felt like a huge invitation to get to know ourselves better, face our fears and feel the feelings we usually push away. We are the experts of ourselves but are often dissuaded from listening to the small voice inside of us. The more we listen to ourselves, the more confident we feel in our ability to look after ourselves when we face difficulties. Starting with a simple check-in and body scan can be a good start in the journey towards listening to ourselves!
Check-in:
A check-in can be as simple as asking how you are doing on a given day or asking yourself “what do I need?” in a moment of ambivalence. This simple practice can help to strengthen the ability to listen to ourselves. Another way of checking in is getting into the habit of writing down how we are feeling. A fancier word for it is journaling; this is the regular practice of setting some time aside to write what’s been happening and how we are. Some people journal every day, some a few times a week and others less often. One of the reasons journaling is so helpful is because we set aside time intentionally to see how we are doing on a given day. Check-in’s become easier the more we do them, and in the not too distant future, it becomes second nature.
Body scan:
Another way to check-in is to do a body scan.
Start by sitting comfortably, take a deep breath in through the nose, and out through the mouth. As you breathe out, close the eyes.
Notice how the body feels right now.
Starting at the top of the head, gently scan down through the body. Take notice of any tension, ease, muscle aches or relaxation as you scan. Notice what feels comfortable and what feels uncomfortable, working through each limb until you get to the toes.
Remember, you’re not trying to change anything, just noticing how the body feels as you scan down evenly and notice each and every part of the body.
These simple techniques help us to check-in, take stock and listen to our own voice. We know ourselves and we know our needs better than anyone else.
Tanisha is a mental health nurse, she delivers therapy and also lectures on diversity and anti-racism. Tanisha is also a published poet and writes about mental health, sexuality, race and body acceptance. You can find her on Instagram @blacksugarising.
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