Nihilism ni·hil·ism
/ˈnīəˌlizəm,ˈnēəˌlizəm/
noun
1. “the rejection of all religious and moral principles, in the belief that life is meaningless.”
2. “extreme skepticism maintaining that nothing in the world has a real existence.”
Basically, to live in despair...
To what end do we pursue things?: A reflection on nihilism
Do you ever have a moment? Perhaps you are cooking or have just finished a workout or you are walking and you have a fleeting moment - such as “my mother was once my age and so was her mother!” or “my parents taught me what they knew and so did theirs and a few years later, I may repeat the cycle!”
A cycle… It is not as clear as a hamster running a wheel but it is a cycle. Sure, with a few to plenty of new elements depending on your choices and chances and opportunities and circumstances. Nonetheless, a cycle.
I think that is what nihilism is; to what end am I pursuing things? Jordan Peterson more or less introduced me to the concept in his book “12 Rules of Life” and showed that it can be a multifaceted concept.
"the only way to minimize the recurrence of questions like 'why am I trying to give some meaning to my life?' is to truly ask oneself that question."
I have had moments of doubting why it is that we dream, wake up every morning and pursue goals. Please, do not get me wrong! Those are just brief moments and if you are being humble you will find one deep within your soul too. Perhaps it occurred a minute before you read this. It is just a moment, hence why I can empathize with those who at one point decided that this will be their reality - their narrative for life. Now that is a terrible head-space to be in.
I guess the only way to minimize the recurrence of questions like “why am I trying to give some meaning to my life?” is to truly ask oneself that question. We are visual beings so try creating a vision board while exploring the reasons behind your visions. They cannot be shallow reasons like “that is what I have always wanted to be”, “that is what is expected of me”, “what else am I going to do if not for that”, because one day, you may realize these will not hold you accountable or even encourage you to persist long enough to see things through. What it can be though, depends on who you are, your values, your principles - if you know what those are. If not, then that is your point zero - defining you by your own standards. Reading a book or two, a therapy visit, and some introspective conversations can all help provide a lens into the self. Yes, it may require some uncomfortable trips - the undressing and unlearning of the values enforced upon you is necessary. Often, the answers are not obvious and may require time to appear clearly! But you have to take that trip before you invest any more time, money, work and patience into pursuing “cycles” or vain hopes you merely believed in.
Define your grounding elements! Have a regular date with your visions! Create a growth-promoting circle! Maybe then you will find one more reason to hold on to your purpose, one more reason to push longer, and one less reason to think “why pursue things”. And remember, the issue is not in the questions. In fact, what is a life without questions - rather the state of mind it may lead to because life is too precious to leave it to despair.
Haben Tesfai (she/her) is an East African writer currently living in Toronto, Ontario. She has had her share of highs and lows this year like everyone else so, some days what she writes is dark and some days it is hopeful. But the ones in between, those are the ones she find herself reflecting and writing about the most. She hopes that in sharing this piece, it may resonate with someone and perhaps provide some introspection.